Archive for December, 2008

homer choking bart rebranded–UPDATE

Friday, December 26th, 2008

We keep track of our statistics in a scattered way.

For example, we know what search topics bring folks to our site. Here’s today’s list, which is a tally for the month of December to date (the number indicates how many searches have come to the ol’ blob by way of the word or phrase that follows):

49 homer choking bart
21 future cars
20 guy giorno
17 computers internet blog
15 igor kenk
14 jessica rabbit
12 allderblob
9 francis wilkinson
9 mitch goldhar
7 jacob richler
7 who framed roger rabbit jessica
5 who framed roger rabbit jessica rabbit
5 dennis morgan
4 homer choking bart simpson
4 allderdice
4 stevie harper
4 invisible cars
4 see the new car in the jones’ driveway? you may soon be driving one just like it by david leonhardt
4 guy giorno john baird
3 race the sun cover
264 [not listed: 238 search terms]

We’re not proud [that’s obvious.–ed.] but we would have wanted to be able to say folks find us because they share our concern about car advertising: because they believe, with us, that cars are just as detrimental to the globe as alcohol, tobacco and firearms, and that like those other social ills, cars should be highly restricted in the way they advertise themselves. You know, “ban car ads?” The phrase “Ban Car Ads” should be the number one search item bringing readers to the ALLDERBLOB.

But our statistics tell us otherwise. Fact is, a lot find us because we once posted a shot of “homer choking bart simpson,” and (on another occasion) “Jessica Rabbit,” and for some reason folks will want to clip those shots and use them to illustrate obscure points of their own. Fact is, at one time not too long ago, a google search for the phrase “homer choking bart” found the ALLDERBLOB at the top of the heap.

This bugged us.

After all, we’ll be the ones to make obscure points around here. And after all, our site is not about glorifying pop cultural icons. If anything, it’s the reverse [whatever that means –ed.].

So as an experiment we doctored that shot of fatherly child abuse that’s such a staple of amerikan kulture, and returned it to its original spot on our pages. We tattooed the suggestion, “WTC7 CONTROLLED DEMOLITION” on Homer’s outstretched arm.

homer choking bart: 9/11 mystery?

homer choking bart: 9/11 mystery?

Would Matt Groening approve?

Whatever. The fact is, our little sabotage did not work as we hoped: it did not seek all the pages that referenced our site and blow them up. However, our google chart for the phrase “homer choking bart” has dropped off the top 10, which suits us fine. Strangely however, the doctored image has wormed its way here and there (scroll down the pages in question to see what we mean). Funny. No, really. Kinda funny.

What are people, stupid?

UPDATE: Here’s another one. Yikes! This thing is going to be bigger than Jesus!

Bigger than jesus, I tells ya! (scroll to the bottom).

Yet another one.

UPDATE: Feb 23 2009: The list keeps growing… but we have other irons in the fire these days. If the lasting imprint of the ALLDERBLOB is to implant the meme of 9/11 deception in the form of a Homer Simpson tattoo, well that will constitute a life well-lived by anyone’s measure (not that we need to prove anything to anyone…).

Santa Claus and the great north pole melt of 2008: Don’t cry for me, Argentina!

Wednesday, December 24th, 2008

Like many of you on Xmas eve, we at the ALLDERBLOB are huddled around our teevees holding out for a bit of warmth. It’s hard to come by these days. Luckily, with climate change and all that, we’re expecting big changes in the home heating department.

Santa Claus is apparently going to have some home heating issues of his own, a lot sooner than anyone predicted!

Speaking of jolly old St. Nick, wasn’t that a nice present he handed over to the outgoing U.S. president the other day? After the waterboarding and all, he seemed ready to give George just about anything he could’ve asked for–but this was better than any climate change expert had predicted. Even Dick Cheney, the most knowledgeable climate change expert of any.

Oh wait, that’s not Santa Claus. That’s Khalid Sheikh Mohammed. Oops. My bad.

“War on Cars” proclaimed over: we won already. We need something new to do with our time

Friday, December 12th, 2008

Back to the topic of the day, the so-called “car-czar” to be appointed to take over the Little Three in the U.S.

(Oh–Did we mention we’re lazy?)

Too lazy to rewrite what we’ve posted elsewhere. Instead, here it is, thanks to the magick of “control-V.”

Allderblob | Thursday, December 11, 2008, 6:35 pm

Yeah, war on this, war on that… pretty effective stuff. What we need is a new tactic. What about “Peace?” Let’s have Peace on cars. With Peace on cars, there’d be consensus on one thing: cars haven’t met the expectations we’ve placed on them. Cars, we forgive you. Now we can move on. With Peace on Cars we’d plow suburbia back into forests and farmlands, bring national train service (and public transit in cities) up to the Bulgarian standard (for starters), build liveable, walkable, bikable communities, and create jobs in sectors (like building the new trains and infrastructure to support them) that doesn’t wreak the same havoc that the international automobile project did throughout the last century. Clearly it’s in this last category that the new nationalized automobile companies will find their due. Good luck!

“Bring trains up to Bulgarian standards–” We like that line a lot. [So does your pal Kunstler. –ed.]

How Why is Guy Giorno trying to wreck Canada?

Friday, December 5th, 2008

Guy Giorno, like a weeping pustule, burst onto the front page of the local paper the other day.

To put his eruption in context, one has to remember Canada’s recent election, called by the sitting Conservative Prime Minister, Steve Harper, just 7 weeks ago. In that election the Conservatives won a plurality: 143 out of 308 seats in the House of Commons, with the three other political parties splitting the other 163 seats (plus two independents):

Conservatives – 38% of the popular vote: 143 seats (would be 117 seats if we had proportional representation [pdf –ed.]

Liberals – 26% of the popular vote: 76 seats (would be 81 seats if we had proportional representation)

NDP – 18% of the popular vote: 37 seats (would be 57 seats if we had proportional representation)

Bloc – 10% of the popular vote: 50 seats (would be 28 seats if we had proportional representation)

Greens – 7% of the popular vote: 0 seats (would be 23 seats if we had proportional representation)

Under Canada’s parliamentary system, this result was enough to put Steve back in the PM’s residence, assuming he retains the “confidence” of a majority of the other MPs. No one in Canada can be said to be truly happy with this arrangement, but it works okay as long as the party in power doesn’t act too brashly.

But Brash is Steve. He (or rather the troika of Harper, Baird and Giorno) put forth a proposal to eliminate the right of civil servants to strike, to limit the ability of women to sue for pay equity, and to strip the federal payout to minority parties (currently set at something like $1.75 per vote earned in the election), among other contentious moves. Guy Giorno, the former ALLDERBLOB correspondent and now Harper’s chief of staff, has been in the thick of the fray.

What did he expect? Perhaps he thought the other MPs would take in on the chin, the way they have throughout his minority rule. But this was the most brazen of his power grabs to date, and the other parties finally got some backbone.

Actually, it’s as if the other three parties, emboldened by the “hope” that has saturated our southern neighbour in the past months, dared to ask “Why not?” as they faced yet another blustering attack from the right wingnuts. The leaders of the three other parties, who had until the past week been at each other’s throats as often as at the throat of the rightists, clued in that if they worked together they could throw out the dastardly Steve.

Harper has been able to run away from the democratic rule of the new coalition, for the time being. First by putting off the vote of non-confidence for a week, and then by requesting the Governor General prorogue Parliament, he has taken a “pro-rogue” position, and fastened his name to a rogue government, that will stand until the end of January. It remains to be seen what happens in the interim, and afterwards.

But it’s the rhetoric Harper’s chosen, refering to “socialists” and “separatists” and “deals with the devil” that have the hair rising on the back of this blobbist. Where is this rhetoric coming from?

We have our suspicions.

From a November 29, 2008 story in the Toronto Globe and Mail and Car Advertiser:

What a Guy.

What a Guy.

Mr. Giorno’s message included very detailed scripts MPs are expected to follow while delivering radio interviews that include the following lines:

* We’re not even two months removed from the last election, and a group of backroom politicians are going to pick who the Prime Minister is. Canadians didn’t vote for this person. We don’t even know who this person will be.
* Not a single voter voted for a Liberal-NDP coalition. Certainly not a single voter voted for the Liberals to form a coalition with the separatists in the Bloc.
* This is what bothers me the most. The Conservatives won the election. The Opposition keeps saying that the Conservatives have to respect the will of the voters that this is a minority and so on.
* …how about Liberals, NDP and Bloc respecting the will of the voters when they said “YOU LOSE”.
* And what’s this going to do to the economy. I’m sorry, I don’t care how desperate the Liberals are — giving socialists (Jack Layton) and separatists (Gilles Duceppe) a veto over every decision in government — that is a recipe for total economic disaster.
* But how more phony could these guys be?
* I mean, I follow the news, virtually every single day you have Harper or Flaherty out there telegraphing exactly what they plan to do with the economy. And not once did you hear the Liberals, NDP or separatists talking about toppling the government in response.
* No — do you know what set this off. When Flaherty said he was going to take taxpayer-funded subsidies away from the opposition. Now there is a reason to try and overturn an election— because the Conservatives the audacity to say “Hey, it’s a recession, maybe you should take your nose out of the trough.”
* And I wish the media would be more clear on this point — the opposition aren’t being singled out by this fact the Conservatives stand to lose the most money of all. The only difference is that Canadians are voluntarily giving money the Conservatives, so they don’t need taxpayer handouts. The only reason the opposition would be hurt more is because nobody wants to donate to them. They should be putting their efforts towards fixing that problem.
* I don’t want another election. But what I want even less is a surprise backroom Prime Minister whom I never even had the opportunity to vote for or against. What an insult to democracy.