Mercedes Benz: nothing special, in fact.

It’s been a while since we gratuitously insulted a large swath of the consuming public based solely on the sort of car they drive. But the need has been building within us, the seething resentment, the hurt and anger.

In the key of G then:

PONG OF A MERCEDES BENZ

You drive a Mercedes Benz
Because you haven’t any friends
Who can tell you what you are
Based on your make and type of car

To see your Mercedes Benz
You need a special kind of lens
That tells you what you are to be
And helps you see what others see

With all the money that you spend
Here is the message that you send:

I don’t care about the world
It doesn’t matter what I kill
It doesn’t matter if I steal
Or that my kids can’t walk to school

It’s your car that does you wrong
From your car you get this pong

Some say Mercedes rhymes with money
Some say my plaint is kind of funny
In point of fact they’re all dead wrong
Every car gives off the pong

Mercedes, Ford and GM too
Hyundai, Honda, Subaru
In point of fact you buy a car
And with it too the pong of fear:

Cause every car is much the same
All the cars deserve the blame:

I don’t care about the world
It doesn’t matter what I kill
It doesn’t matter if I steal
Or that my kids can’t walk to school

It’s your car that does you wrong
From your car you get this pong

So in your Merdre-cedes Benz
Your need for space is so intense
Your need for speed a blinding lie
Your ears immune to pongs I cry

But what I’m trying here to say
Is that your car like others may
Fit a mould society
Has formed for you
without pity

Cause every car is much the same
All the cars deserve the blame
It’s your car that does you wrong
From your car you get this pong

One Response to “Mercedes Benz: nothing special, in fact.”

  1.  

    [...] whose parents happened to have made the lapse of judgement of handing over the keys to the family Merde-cedes Benzes that day. The two chums, driving their parents’ cars up Mt. Pleasant Rd. in Toronto, felt the [...]

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