Eye Magazine, a wholly-owned arm of Metroland Printing Publishing and Distributing, a TorStar Inc. company (the latter a frame for the Toronto Star a.k.a. [to the Allderblob at any rate –ed.] the best source of car porn in Toronto), slurped back some MDMA and got all lovey about saving the earth this week.
This will require sacrifice. Some will see their prosperity threatened as we move dramatically to sever our dependence on oil. There is no honour without sacrifice: those who have grown rich in the service of our enemy must now join in our defence against it. We can tolerate no treasonous disloyalty in the name of greed. We say to all captains of industry: you are either with us or you are against us.
Problem is, they’re “holier than thou,” but don’t practice what they preach.
Not even close.
Sigh.
Okay, we know, their hearts are in the right place. They write forcibly about the need to take action against “global warming,” aka climate change. Their rhetoric, flavoured as it is with more than a hint of 1940s “fight the huns” spirit:
even the illustration picks up on U.S. patriotic art from the period
has real conviction.
Well, maybe not so real.
And we will need to marshal the resources of our brightest minds in the service of our mission. For a time, attention must be diverted from other necessary projects as we embark on an entire rebuilding of our infrastructure. Massive investment will be required, and also massive effort.
Can you say: “And also massive fraud?”
Maybe the kitch of 1940s patriotism hides some cynicism.
And “cynicism is the height of cowardice,” in our books [actually, the book is by Erica Jong –ed.].
We’re talking about the facing page, of course.
Do we bother to go there? Is it worth mentioning what we find?
Look again at the editorial:
Even the common householder — even the smallest child — has a role to play. A vital role. We must examine every detail of our lives in battling this emerging evil. No action is so small that it does not help, no level of neglect so small that it does not contribute to our defeat.
Okay, Eye. You’ve said a mouthful.
So let’s do: let’s go there. Let’s “examine every detail of our lives.”
Facing page? You know it:
Try “ENJOY THE RIDE. HECK, ENJOY THE PRICE.”
Try “FEEL PLAYFUL/FEEL SPONTANEOUS.”
Try “CHECK OUT HOW PONTIAC STACKS UP.”
Try “REWARD YOURSELF BY GIVING UP YOUR OLD CAR.”
And so on. It’s a car ad, of course [warning: offensive content –ed.]. It’s the reason these magazines are free, they tell us.
To us, it’s the price of hot air.
Eye magazine, try harder. You talk about the need for sacrifice.
Just say “no” to blood money.
Just say “no” to car advertising!
“Together, we can do it.”