It’s a song. No, a poem. A song. A poem. It’s a PONG.

Sometimes it isn’t enough to be all nice and friendly. Sometimes you have to name names and point fingers. Even if someone’s feelings get hurt.

Fact is, as David Engwicht put it so clearly, people have split personalities about cars. He theorizes that it’s an evolutionary trait, bred in by our conflicting ancestry as nomadic vs. farming peoples. The Nomad in us wants to roam the land, hunting and gathering (and pillaging and spoiling). The Farmer in us wants to protect and nurture where we live. The Nomad crosses the Farmer and there’s trouble.

It makes for a bad pong indeed.

The ALLDERBLOB presents its first in a series of PONGs. What is a Pong? Some know it as an early video game. Others cite its early meaning of “stink” or “very bad smell.” Here we mean it in a new way: a “poem/song” of unconstructive criticism: for delivery, think John Lydon, vintage P.i.L. Oh, and watch out for the tricky change-up in the third part:

THE PONG OF A CAR

You say you drive a car
You don’t know who you are

But from my bicycle
I say your name in full

You’re an asshole,
You drive a Volvo.
You make me scream,
You drive a GM.

You think you have it made
But you just make me sad

If you don’t change your ways
It’s not just you who pays

You are a fraud!
You drive a Ford!
You really suck!
You drive a truck

[here’s the tricky part–ed.]:

I don’t know how you live with yourself
If I were like you I would change
You have to see what I say is the truth
We can’t keep on with this binge

You are a fraud!
You drive a Ford!
You really suck!
You drive a truck

You’re an asshole,
You drive a Volvo.
You make me scream,
You drive a GM.

[repeat and fade out]

One Response to “It’s a song. No, a poem. A song. A poem. It’s a PONG.

  1.  

    [...] or been charmed by anything in their lives, the ones who hate the thought of danger or of mischief, the ones who drive Volvos because it’s safer (at least for them), and he “fixes” them. He hammers them [...]

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