Jim Kenzie thumbs nose at SUV ads

In a strange turn of events, the Toronto Star and Car Advertiser‘s chief carhead, Jim Kenzie, has told SUV manufacturers he doesn’t need their money.

Specifically, in an article in the weekend’s Wheels section, he burst the steel-belted radials of Porsche’s Cayenne, saying

Now, I hate Stupid Useless Vehicles (SUVs) as much or more than anyone, and the Porsche Cayenne is easily among the most egregious.

But Porsche’s executives will already burn in hell for eternity for slapping their precious badge on such a ridiculous vehicle, one that flies in the face of every principle the company’s founder stood for.

Stupid Useless Vehicles? Jim, Jim, calm down. You’re sounding like our colleague in the International Bicycle Conspiracy, the one who signs off all his emails “The real meaning of S.U.V is Stupid Urban Vehicle.”

In the meantime, Kenzie claims “In virtually any urban environment in the world, the exhaust coming out of a modern car engine is cleaner than the air going in.” He also acknowledges he has an asthmatic child at home. I guess next he’ll be running a hose directly into the child’s bedroom as proof of his insane theory. Someone, call the Children’s Aid Society!


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