the ALLDERBLOB

It’s New Year’s Eve. Most of you will be at home about now, patting your well-filled stomachs and mumbling into your cups, “Huh? Wozzat? All-Der-who, now?” If this adequately sums up your sorry existence, [and you know it does–ed.], you may wish to read on as our research department delves into matters beyond your ken… namely, what’s been “lucky” for Allder-Googlers in 2007?

Our top ten for 2007, in no particular order, would be the following:

1. Blob, not blog a perennial favourite

Why a BLOB?
It started with the Marx brothers, who famously asked “Why a Duck?”
The Blob calls for similar logic.

2. Jacob Richler Whatever happened to… dept.

JACOB: Me go be write, jus lik you, dada!
MORDECAI: Heh, heh.
JACOB: Me go be besh write in whole wurl!

3. Case Ootes There are 20 voters in Governor’s bridge who are kicking themselves whenever they hear his name

We urge Mr. Ootes to take charge of advertising at GM or Ford as a post-retirement career. If anyone can put them out of their misery, it’s the advertising genius Case Ootes.

4. Jack Lakey The Toronto Star and Car Advertiser’s baddest of the bad

But Lakey’s been too busy ripping up people’s dreams to do anything really useful like that. Let’s call him what he is: not a fixer, but a smasher.

5. The day formerly known as St Patrick’s Will the ALLDERBLOB one day be known for driving car advertisers from the land?

On this, the day formerly known as St. Patrick’s Day, folks all over the world gather together to celebrate and plan for a world without automobile advertising.
Many of them remain sober.

6. “campbell ewald” you may not know who they are, but someone does. Someone’s looking to fix their wagon. Someone’s pushing these bow-tied boys from Detroit up the charts. Look for them around no. 170 UPDATE: three months have passed and we’re gaining ground: look for us at number ninety now! out of 82,000 possible hits. And the first that’s not P.R. bumf about the company. Who cares? Not us. We’re just the patsy.

They’ve made ads for G.M. since 1914, and it’s only now that the corporation’s star is fading. In contrast, it’s taken them just a couple years to put U.S. President Bush’s name on toilet paper the world over.

7. Actually, as for the rest, we exaggerate. Guess we really aren’t that lucky after all.

Until next year, amigos.

This entry was posted on Monday, December 31st, 2007 at 8:38 pm and is filed under unlikely versions of reality. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.