States of Emergency: notes from around the world, and Toronto too

Occasionally here at the ALLDERBLOB we like to wax philosophical.

We like to turn our sights outward, as it were, on the wide world outside our parochial “anti-car ad” blinders.. With our colleague Michael Dudley at citystates, we wonder about the effects of depleted uranium currently being used in everyday warfare wherever the U.S. fires a gun. With our colleague James Kunstler at the Clusterfuck Chronicle we wonder at how an entire people can ignore the little freight train of horrors that’s rushing at it from just down the track, and still refuse to get out of harm’s way.

Far away, Tbilisi, Islamabad, and Nochiya are stumbling along in their own railbeds. Tbilisi, capital of Georgia, a former state in the USSR, has imposed a state of emergency after a reported coup attempt. Islamabad, similarly, has suspended the constitution, placed its ex-president under house arrest, and has the military clubbing people in the streets.

And what about Nochiya? Well Nochiya is another matter. With Nochiya the emergency comes home. With Nochiya we have would-be cyclists stabbing at motorists with a hex wrench in the streets of Toronto.

Wikipedia [Motto: if it ain’t true what’s it doing in print? –ed.] tells us: “The Nochiya Region lies in 3 different countries: western Iran, northeastern Iraq and southeast Turkey.”
Valley of the PKK
Wikipedia tells us the Nochiya region is considered home to the earliest recognized tribe in the world, “the Nairi Tribal Confederation that was defeated by the Assyrian King Tiglathpileser I in 1,100 BC.” It continues: “Today, the area has declined in importance and is probably best known for the Kurdish PKK resistance movement and its fine tobacco plants.”

The PKK? The plot thickens. The PKK of course is the Kurdistan Worker’s Party, a group fighting for independence from Iraq and the group that today puts Iran under threat of invasion from Turkey. And to go a few years back, it was reports of a certain Iraqi President for Life gassing the Kurds of his own country that provided the heartbeat of moral outrage that lent credence to the U.S. push for war against Irag in 2003. Today the wind blows the other way and the U.S. describes the PKK as a “terrorist organization.”

But the Nochiya people, or Nochiyaye, are not necessarily Kurds. They are Assyrians. The Nochiyaye consist of a relatively few families. A little like the clans of Scotland, perhaps, certain names resonate through the ages. One of these is the family name Younan, or Yonan. Another is the family name Inwia, or Inwiya.

For some of you this is beginning to sound familiar. Yonan Inwia, of course, is the name of the man who the Torontoist recently described thusly: “Yonan Inwia fell roughly to the ground, his hands reaching out in a Christ-like fashion to break the heavy fall. Little did Yonan know, today he would be the messiah of cyclist rage, wielding the cuspidated tool of justice.”

The Nochiyaye, meanwhile, have on their flag a tool of justice much cuspidated: a lumpen cross.
cuspidated tool at centre

Christlike? This isn’t how the Toronto Police described Inwia. To them, he is the alleged attacker of a motorist on College Street near La Plante Ave, 34 years old (although originally described as “in his 20s” by witnesses [more sad evidence of the anti-aging effects of bicycle riding–or something more sinister?–ed.]). A colleague in the International Bicycle Conspiracy pointed out that there is no “LaPlante Ave” in Toronto according to Google maps–and while this is true (check for yourself) it does not mean the suspect is a police “plant(e)” necessarily. Check again with “La Plante” spelled correctly.

As to the episode itself, the hexing of the motorist: If Inwia is indeed found to be the culprit, we have evidence of something much stranger than just a possible police plant(e). For in Inwia we are witness to an acronym little known except among the more rabid followers of a certain alleged messiah: It’s Not Words, It’s Actions.

James 1:22—”Do not merely listen to the Word and so deceive
yourselves. Do what it says.” In other words – It’s Not Words. It’s
Actions! (INWIA)

Here’s another one: “My philosophy of ministry to children is very simple. Children need to learn about Jesus and have fun. INWIA – It’s Not Words, It’s Actions.

Meanwhile, back in Nochiya, we hear (see the PKK “terrorist organization” link above) “Turks demand action, not words” against the PKK.

Cuspidated? You tell me.

One Response to “States of Emergency: notes from around the world, and Toronto too”


    [...] it’s because, unlike the case that made the front pages of all the papers a couple weeks ago, where a loser hexed a winner with a wrench, in this case it was the loser who [...]

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