Thank You, Antonia Zerbisias

Zerbisias, the Toronto Star columnist whose blog we link to just on the right of your screen, covers the waterfront.

That is, she writes about just about anything: media, politics, fashion, you name it. For this reason, perhaps, the powers that be at the Star jerk her column around a lot: one day it’s in business, another it’s in Arts, sometimes you find it in the front section. There’s probably a rhyme and reason to it, but not one that we’ve grasped (they do the same thing to the comics section).

On her blog today she covered the Academy Award presentations.

We watched these presentations too. We haven’t seen most of the nominated movies, but we like Jon Stewart, and wanted to be there if he stuck it to the man (unfortunately, he didn’t).

But right at the start of the whole shindig we were sucked in by what seemed like a pretty cool commercial.

It was pretty long, for one thing. Would you believe, two minutes? Must have cost plenty. It took time to develop this story of two neighbouring villages, one where people were ruled by rationalism and careful planning, the other where the people acted out of wild desire and the pursuit of happiness.

One day (the commercial tells us), a guy from the happy-seeking village gets on his bike and rides away, in search of something. And you’re like, “Wow, that is so cool, a bicycle in a prime-time commerical in the Oscars! Woo whoo!”

At the same time, a woman from the planning crowd drifts off into the woods with the same goal in mind.

Love is in the air, of course. But how will it happen?

Like we said, we were sucked in. The room’s gone quiet, and it’s only been 90 seconds or so–long, for a TV commercial.

You see the villagers from both towns realize that someone’s missing. They set out toward the borders with torches and pikes. Violence is brewing. What will happen?

Then the whole thing falls apart.

We’ll let Zerbisias express our disgust:

8:21 Car sick. Toyota launches its Village of Want and Need mini-movie commercials for Toyota Camry. This two-minute extravaganza should have come with barf bags.

We post this blob in the category “Ads of Desperation.” You know car companies are really desperate when they show happy people, with bicycles but no cars to be seen, and try to suggest only a car will complete their lives.

So thank you, Antonia Zerbisias. You have perfectly captured the ALLDERBLOB zeitgeist with that one comment.

Now if only you’d turn your attention to the nausea-inducing car-porn that pays your salary at the Star.

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